Transcript

Nobody: Introduction

Malex: Happy new year, everybody! Malex here, and Linus and I have finally returned from our trip.

Linus: Ugh.

Snufflefungus: Why don't you tell the listeners where you were, Linus?

Linus: I don't even want to talk about it.

Malex: Just so everybody knows, Linus' little "overreaction" from last episode did _not_ result in permanent damage to himself or others.

Linus: (Cheery) Hey, I still don't want to talk about it! Imagine that!

Malex: So, Snufflefungus, what did you do while we were gone?

Snufflefungus: (Slightly evasive.) Well...

Linus: Ooh! Did you do something interesting? Tell us, tell us!

Snufflefungus: I don't know...

Malex: Now Snuffy, you really should tell us.

Snufflefungus: Well, you know how some people build houses for themselves out of stacked cards?

Linus: (Emphasis.) No.

Malex: Kind of.

Snufflefungus: Well, I bought ten-thousand dollars worth of marbles to stack up!

Linus: Uh...

Sunfflefungus: I just thought that if they can build a house out of stacked cards, I should be able to build a house out of marbles.

Malex: But... You can't _stack_ marbles.

Snufflefungus: I know that _now_.

Linus: Well I hope you got your ten-thousand dollars back.

Snufflefungus: No.

Malex: Why not?!

Snufflefungus: They don't take back used marbles.

Malex: So where are the marbles now?

Snufflefungus: Well, I tried to give them to charity and things, but nobody wanted them. So I buried them in the back yard.

Malex: (Slowly and deliberately.) You buried them... in the back yard.

Snufflefungus: Yes! Well, see, I didn't really want Linus to make fun of me trying to stack marbles, so I thought hiding them would be best.

Linus: I'm a little more hung up on the ten-thousand dollars thing. Where did you get that kind of money?

Snufflefungus: I got it from the bank!

Malex: Snufflefungus, I didn't know you had a savings account.

Snufflefungus: I don't! It was a loan!

Malex: A _loan_! How were you going to pay them back?!

Linus: He doesn't have a clue!

Snufflefungus: They told me I wouldn't have to worry about it as long as I put your house up as collateral!

Malex: (Sobs)

Linus: Well well... Malex finally breaks into tears on the show. Good work, Snufflefungus. You can let up on the joke now.

Snufflefungus: Malex, I'm sorry! Are you okay?

Malex: I'm okay... So it was all a joke then?

Snufflefungus: No.

Linus: What?!

Snufflefungus: I don't know why Linus said that.

Malex: Okay... Well I guess I'll go call the bank, then...

Linus: So, you actually got the bank to lend you ten-thousand dollars?

Snufflefungus: Yup! It was really easy!

Linus: Excellent! I have some world domination plans I think you might be interested in financing.

Snufflefungus: If I do, will you teach me how to tap-dance?

Linus: Tap dance?

Snufflefungus: Yeah! I always thought it would be so fun to tap dance!

Linus: But you don't have any legs!

Snufflefungus: Neither do you!

Linus: And I don't know how to tap dance!

Snufflefungus: So you can learn. Then, you can teach me!

Linus: No, me not having legs means I _can't_ tap dance!

Snufflefungus: Oh... Well I'd better find a different teacher then.

Linus: (Getting really loud.) You can't tap dance either!!

Snufflefungus: Well not if you won't teach me...

Malex: Hey, I just got off the phone with the bank.

Linus: Did you get it straightened out?

Malex: Oh, they won't talk to me about the loan because it's not my loan.

Snufflefungus: I can talk to them. They like talking to me!

Malex: No no, I already asked if they would talk to you. They said no, because you don't own the collateral.

Snufflefungus: Oh...

Linus: Funny they didn't think about that until after granting the loan.

Malex: Yes, hilarious. Well, it looks like we're out of time everybody! Remember to email us at Malex at MalexMedia.Net so we can talk about it during the next episode. Thanks a bunch for listening, and I hope you'll join us next week for the Malex Minute!

Nobody: End

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